


Sacrifices

by HiddenTohru



Category: Dragon Age: Origins
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-07-20
Updated: 2010-07-20
Packaged: 2017-10-10 16:56:45
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 925
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/101988
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HiddenTohru/pseuds/HiddenTohru
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>At the Landsmeet, Bridonna made her decision. Now she just has to explain it to Alistair.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Sacrifices

**Author's Note:**

> Originally written in January 2010.

Bridonna had forgotten how much it hurt to cry. It had been so long, so many years since she had allowed herself that weakness. Growing up a duster, holding herself strong when her mother had sister had succumbed, fighting tooth and nail against all the things that pulled her down, she had never cried. After leaving Orzammar with Duncan, after Ostagar, after all the pain and death on the long journey here, she had been strong. They had needed a leader, someone to keep them going, and so even when she was hurt, she never cried. Even when she had left Alistair, after that short sweetness of their time together, she had not cried.

She hadn't remembered all the little pains. The sting of salt in her eyes, the headache after her sinuses became clogged, the rawness of her cheeks and nose after wiping them so many times. But none of it hurt as badly as the feeling in her chest. She struggled to remember what she had done it for, what she had traded almost everything for.

"Bridonna! Maker's Breath, there you are! You can't hide from me, you know." Alistair's angry voice cut through her thoughts of self-pity and she took a deep breath before turning to face him. The armory was the ideal place if she had to fight him. There were no soft memories here.

The soon-to-be-King was red in the face with anger, and only paused a moment after taking in her tear-streaked face before launching into his rant. "How could you do this to me? I thought the worst thing you could ever do was leaving me for that... that insane bard, but this? You let Loghain live! You're letting him fight! How could you?"

Bridonna opened her mouth to respond, but he just kept going. "No, I'm not done yet. Do you really care so little for me? How the hell am I supposed to marry the daughter of my worst enemy, especially when he still lives?! How the hell do you expect me to start my reign like this?!"

Bridonna's hackles rose at this. "Kindly remember who helped you get on the throne in the first place, ser! Ferelden needs a king, and a union between the Queen and yourself will cement your rule completely. I did this for your country, because it deserves more than civil war."

He backed up a little at the venom in her words, but crossed his arms and retorted, "then what about Loghain? Why did you let him become a Warden?"

Bridonna turned her back on him then, the pain was too much. "Because you must be king. And I am a coward."

"What are you talking about?" He looked confused.

"Did you speak with Riordan before coming here to yell at me?" She glanced at him and marked the blank look before turning away again. "The warden that kills the archdemon will die. That's how it's killed. He told this to us, to Loghain and I."

Shock and then anger swiftly made their way across Alistair's face. "Maker's Breath! But... But he'll be a hero! He doesn't deserve it! If you won't take the blow, then let me! I –"

"Ferelden needs a king! And I... I can't let you." Ancestors, why did this feeling in her chest not go away?

"You... Why?" He knew. He saw it in the tense lines of her body, but he needed to hear the words.

She turned to face him then, fresh tears slowly rolling down her cheeks. She crossed the distance between them, pulled his face down and kissed him, strongly, making her mark on him. As she let him go, she whispered, softly, "because I love you too much."

Alistair couldn't move. If he moved, everything would come crashing down. Bridonna backed up a few feet and looked at him, then shook her head. "We never could have been together, Alistair. And I'm too much of a coward. Loghain will pay for his crimes by saving his country, and you will be king, and I..." She shook her head again, unable to continue for the tears.

"Bridonna, wait –" He reached for her, but she backed out of range.

"Goodbye, Alistair. You won't see me again. Leliana and I will leave for Orlais after the battle." She ran then, ran from the armory, ran from his eyes, ran from the pain and hurt she saw there. From the only man she would ever love, from the unfairness of things she had never wanted, from everything she couldn't bear to face any longer.

Alistair stood alone in the armory, his anger turned to bitter ash inside him. What was a kingdom, if he was forced to give everything up for it? What was love, if he could never have it? He steeled himself as he left, remembering that even now, he was looked at to lead his kingdom. At least she had given him that. Perhaps that was all that was in her power to give.

Bridonna sobbed in the arms of her lover, so soft and warm, as Leliana sang her a lullaby. The woman knew who the tears were for, but she did not mind. She knew she was second choice, but that did not matter. It was still her arms that her beloved clung to, her voice she heard, and her home they would return to, after the darkness and pain was over. She would forget everything else except the feel of the woman in her arms. Nothing else truly mattered.


End file.
